ninjay: (tearing me apart.)
jay oresorenson ([personal profile] ninjay) wrote2017-06-12 12:17 am
Entry tags:

week 3, sunday

[ a few hours after the execution, jay will return to his shared room with jake (and dirk). jay decided to give him some time on his own in case other people wanted to comfort him, or if dirk was going to make out with him or something.

look he has no idea how dirk and jake do the comfort thing except for the fact that it involves a lot of petting, okay. ]

How are you holding up?
potentite: (pic#10350884)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-12 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
[Wow rude they aren't going to make out right away probably maybe. Okay that was fair of Jay to wonder. Jake is tired and flopped over on the bed.]

I... I'm fi— [But he stops, because Jay is smarter than that and he doesn't deserve an absentminded lie.] ...I don't know. I've never killed someone. Even if she was a fiend...
potentite: (pic#10360200)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-12 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
[He bites his lip, thinking.] A little. But... the younger ones would have had a difficult time with it, um, well, strength wise. [Sawing through bone and cutting through someone as thick as a neck? Not easy.] It would have drawn it out for them... Chie seemed pretty upset just to see herself on the list. And Hajime...

[His reasoning here, he knows, sounds a little stupid but:] She said she's a hero. I couldn't let someone like that do it, no matter if she could or not.
potentite: (pic#10360200)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-12 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
[Jake agrees with that at least.] Mira was different. It isn't... really that shocking that the execution style changed, too. She called herself a Facilitator. We should have expected it. At least we'll know for the next selection. I, um, haven't been voting for executioner because it didn't feel right.
potentite: (pic#10360198)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-12 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
[Jake flinches even though Jay didn't mean it like that. He has a lot of guilt eating away at him right now, so it's not hard for another thing to add to it.]

No, I— I understand now. I hope it doesn't happen again. I hope we can think of something. But... if I'm alive to vote, I'll give it the consideration it deserves.
potentite: (jake072)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-12 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's okay he loves Jay anyway.]

True. I had that thought, too. But I'm not sure where to start... Craftly won't give us a proper hint after all.
potentite: (pic#10346991)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-12 08:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I know, I know. It's why I was so vehement about not doing it. Besides, I'm sure the beasts in charge would just put someone else in his role.
potentite: (pic#10350884)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-12 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)
[Jake can't really blame him.]

I did wonder that. Even if he has a role, he's still a member of the staff. And... we still would have needed to execute him.

[Which Jake would just like to say that was a terrible execution to force on anyone.]

It's hard to say what Mira's motives even were. When I told her if she really wanted us to consider it logically, if she had meant to help us, the trial when emotions are heated was a terrible idea and she didn't seem to understand it.
potentite: (pic#10360201)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-12 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I... worried enough when I saw "disposal room", assuming it would be full of dead bodies piled up. Now I worry it might be even more gruesome than what I'm imagining.

[That said:] Jay, do you... really think she was telling the truth? That she worked alone?
potentite: (pic#10346991)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-12 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I thought so, too. I couldn't pinpoint why I thought so... but something about the case made me uneasy. Like someone else had been there. I didn't have proof, though, or rather I couldn't figure out what was making me think that, so...

[So he let Mira ham it up without pushing it.]
potentite: (pic#10350869)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-12 10:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I assumed the same. The Soldier could let us see it and continue to cover for Mira, allowing her to kill again as she threatened to do in her letter. Though, we don't know if she was for certain part of the group of three or just a rogue element working alongside them.
potentite: (jake073)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-12 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Was she loyal, though? [He frowns.] She didn't seem to feel anything. Or rather, even care. She said she'd gotten what she wanted out of it already.
potentite: (pic#10360200)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-13 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
That's true... I guess it's just hard for me to understand someone like that.
potentite: (jake033)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-13 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
That's true, I suppose. I know I can be a dick but I worry so much about other people. I can't really imagine being so callous. I just... I don't know. I just want to do something to end this. I don't want to see that lake again next week.
potentite: (pic#11375307)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-13 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Jake nods firmly.] I think there must be. It's like you said, there are rules at play we don't know about, which means there are other ways we don't know. We just... have to find them somehow. But I'll keep trying as long as I'm alive.
potentite: (pic#10809012)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-13 07:57 am (UTC)(link)
I hope so, too. For, well, an awful lot of reasons! I don't want to just... disappear... But, um, you know it goes for you, too, Jay. I don't know you very well. I don't want to pry. You seem like a private person even without all the murderous hullabaloo. But... I know I trust you and like you as a friend. I'm glad we were paired up.
potentite: (pic#10350884)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-13 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I hope you live just because I'd be frightfully sad if you died. But... we always stick together once Thursday night rolls around, so...

[He's not sure how anyone would get him or Jay or Dirk but he doesn't want to put it past anyone, either.]
potentite: (pic#10346991)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-14 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
Defending ourselves would still be a murder, but...

[He really would not tell on Dirk or Jay for killing in self-defense so you know.]
potentite: (pic#10360207)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-14 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
[He pauses.]

I mean, it would be rather difficult to kill with a nailgun unless I was aiming very precisely, so it's excellent for that, true.

[He approves of this.]
potentite: (pic#10350789)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-14 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
True! I could incapacitate with any gun. [A beat.] Except the flare gun? Uh, that would be difficult. But I'm really only keeping that one for monsters.
potentite: (pic#10350644)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-14 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
I won't! I mean, I won't on purpose? I didn't even know for sure there were monsters here until that.
potentite: (jake017)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-14 03:38 am (UTC)(link)
I had a pipe and my nailgun... But it wasn't very good, no. I just didn't realise how dangerous it would be.
potentite: (pic#10350868)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-14 10:35 am (UTC)(link)
Righto! I wouldn't leave you or Dirk alone. I couldn't forgive myself if I did.
potentite: (pic#10350868)

[personal profile] potentite 2017-06-14 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[Too bad, Jay. You got a ray of sunshine.]

Well, I'll try to spare you any further annoyance.